If your loved one has Alzheimer’s disease, these suggestions can make communicating smoother and less frustrating for both of you.
Updated on May 6, 2023
Alzheimer’s disease, a brain disorder that affects more than 5 million Americans, erodes the ability to think, reason, and remember. As dementia progresses and mild symptoms become more severe, difficulties using language intensify, according to the Alzheimer’s Association, which makes it harder for people with the disease to express their thoughts, wishes, and feelings to others. But there are strategies that families, friends, and caregivers can turn to when traditional methods of communication fall short. “What we advocate is really meeting the person where they are and connecting with them in the way that they’re able to communicate,” says Ruth Drew, a licensed mental health counselor and the former director of information and support services at the Alzheimer’s Association. “When people are struggling, often there are things we can do that just make it easier.” There is no foolproof or one-size-fits-all approach, Drew emphasizes. “Communicating with someone who has Alzheimer’s can look different from one person to the next, and from one stage to the next,” she says. Even a technique that helps a person one day may not work for that person on a different day. Still, there are some general strategies that can make a difference. Here, Drew offers her best tips.
When people with Alzheimer’s dementia struggle to name a familiar object, lose their train of thought, or ask the same question again and again, remind yourself that this is because they have a disease that has damaged their brain. Instead of giving voice to any frustration or anxiety you may feel, try to remain calm and relaxed and let the person have all the time they need. “It really helps to just take a deep breath and go at their pace,” says Drew. If the person is trying and failing to find a word, for instance, don’t rush to fill in the blank. “You can check in with them and ask, ‘Does it help if I guess at what the word is, or would you like me to just wait and let you come up with it?’ What works for one person might be different from what works for someone else.” RELATED: How to Talk to a Loved One About Signs of Alzheimer’s Disease
When you’re trying to communicate with someone in the middle stages of dementia, having a one-on-one conversation in a quiet place is ideal, says Drew. It can be harder to connect when there are distractions, like other people milling around or a TV blasting. For a person with more advanced dementia, using simple words and simple sentences can help. If the person with dementia asks the same question repeatedly, your natural impulse may be to rephrase your response slightly each time to make it more comprehensible. “But usually you answered just fine the first time,” Drew says. “It’s their ability to hold on to the answer that’s impaired — it’s like you’re pouring water into a bucket with a hole in it.” Instead of trying to recast your answer, respond the same way with the same words, Drew advises.
